I do not claim to be an expert on this subject, nor do I believe there is a set age where it is now ok to enter into romance.

As a father of 3 wonderful teens I do see things a lot differently than when I was young. I want to see my teens avoid the pitfalls that only lead to avoidable hurts and disappointments. The world is full of dear people that have crashed in their romantic relationships no matter what age they are. If I could help one young person avoid getting romantically involved too soon and for the wrong reasons it was worth writing this life question.

Know this from Matthew 19:19, "And love your neighbour as yourself." After loving the Lord Jesus Christ, to love yourself to the same degree as your neighbour is essential for a healthy lasting relationship. This means you put value on yourself. You are created in God's image, you were specifically designed (Ephesians 2:10). You are God's poem. Let Him finish you, not the guy or gal you are dating.

Many people get romantically involved too soon and try to shape themselves to fit the one they are dating. They do not allow God time to shape and develop them into a mature enough state where they can more readily find that perfect match. Soon tensions develop because people never find out who they are, or what they are to be in life.

Be brutally honest with yourself. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What is the motive behind this romantic relationship? Both genders must be clear as to the motive of the other person they are romancing.

2. Is this person to be my life partner? If not you have no business experimenting with this individual on levels of trust that are only suitable for married couples. Remember every break-up is like a divorce. It leaves scars and hurts that often cause people to rebound into the arms of another.

3. Is this romantic relationship for sexual gratification? Usually the male will encourage this physical aspect because that is the way God designed it. God put sex within the confines of marriage because this act outside of marriage causes more hurt and mistrust than any other. So be wise teenage gals, sex before marriage scars. Guys, sex before age 18 is sex with a minor which is punishable by law. So don't get involved romantically if it is just for the physical gratification.

4. Is this romantic relationship what I need to be fulfilled? If that is you, I must most assuredly tell you that you are heading for heartbreak. Your partner was never meant to fill in the gaps. Two 50% people never make 100%. On the other hand, it is neat to see some of the positive, self-motivated, confident singles I know strut their stuff. I know they will be a positive influence in any relationship.

5. Is my romantic relationship based on fear of not finding someone else? A little saying back when I was a teen tormented me. It went like this: If you love someone let them go. If they don't come back they were never yours in the first place. I was so happy when I finally caught one, I thought God, what is this?? Your catch and release system?? Now I know that that was just my own insecurities speaking.

6. Is this romance my security blanket? I do know that there are truck loads of hurts that drive young people in the arms of another. Maybe they come from a broken home. maybe they have no friends, or no self confidence, or no money. Whatever the motive, what you compromise to gain you will ultimately lose.